With fall in full swing and Halloween approaching, the real fright on Saturday night isn’t going to be the children running around neighborhoods excitedly filling up pillowcases with candy. Thanks to the federal government’s grumpy attitude toward fun, the Energy Department boldly claims that jack-o-lanterns are responsible for unleashing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.
Boo! Scared yet? No longer is this illustrious title of greenhouse gas zombie reserved for cows and their flatulence -- the feds have now set their sights on the big orange squash. The Energy Department’s website claims that "annually 1.3 billion pounds of pumpkins produced in the U.S. end up in the trash as more than 254 million tons of municipal solid waste produced in the United States every year.”
Pumpkins, just like their menacing cohorts, the cows, release methane gas, “a harmful greenhouse gas that plays a part in climate change, with more than 20 times the warming effect of carbon dioxide,” says the Department of Energy. Thanks to our friends at the Daily Caller, you can read more about it here.
Every party has a pooper and that’s what we’ve got this Halloween with the Department of Energy. Not being content to let carved pumpkins sit pretty, the gloom zombies at Energy have now urged kids to dress up in solar panels as their costume. We cannot make this stuff up. Energy has dubbed this year’s spooktacular holiday “Energyween” with the hope that kids will actually dress up as solar panels and wind turbines—to heck with Disney princesses and those nunchuck-wielding Ninja Turtles. This would be hysterical if it weren’t for the fact the federal government is night-of-the-living-dead serious.
Both The Daily Caller and Washington Times are reporting that “energy vampires” lurk everywhere in your home draining your electricity as a vampire sucks blood. Someone sucks here and I am not going to blame the vampires.
Finally, Energy put out a tutorial on how to carve your pumpkin with energy themes such as an electric car or windmill. Obviously, they didn’t read the earlier memo stating that pumpkins are evil.
Instead of unleashing the creativity and ingenuity of the American people to explore new ideas and approaches in our uses of energy, the department instead is wasting time, money and energy putting out ridiculous memo’s on Halloween. The last thing we need is one more government agency trying to control another part of our lives. This is exactly why Convention of States volunteers across America are working so hard to meet and educate legislators and citizens about our ‘Plan to Save America’ by using Article V.